My last blog was about doing something you’ve never done – an excellent way to expand and grow, and totally necessary if you want to reach your greatest potential.
But whether it’s something you’ve never done before or simply a goal you’ve been trying achieve, success can evade you if you don’t do three things before you jump into doing whatever it is you want to do. First let’s look at “why not to try.”
You have to definitively DECIDE that you are going to do whatever “it” is. Yep, you have to make a firm decision and declaration that you are going to do what you say you want to do. Not “I’m going to see if I can” or “I’m going to try…” No, no, no. Those are statements you make so that you don’t really have to commit. You’re thinking that if you don’t firmly commit then you can’t fail. Rather than declaring that you are going to do something and risk possible failure and have your perceived failure be exposed, you simply don’t commit. You play it safe, play it small, and give yourself an easy out by saying you are going to “try,” which is the opposite of a commitment – it’s a definite non-commitment. If you drop the ball you can say that you didn’t fail because you never said you were going to do such-and-such for sure anyway. The only real failure, though, is your failure to be honest with yourself.
This can happen because you don’t want your goal more than what you have to give up or change to obtain it, or you pull back and constrict yourself because you’re afraid you’ll fail and everyone will know it, or you simply don’t know how on earth to achieve what it is you want.
Fear of loss can play a role, too. If there’s something you have to give up in order to achieve or become what you want, you fear you’ll miss it and that life will no longer be as fun or good or safe. Those thoughts are called stories – stories about what you imagine your life will be like when you make a change – particularly if the change involves giving something up. Fearing the loss or the unknown, you imagine the worst, and that keeps you from making a decision to do something differently or new, or to let something go – even if deep down you know it would be for your own good.
So the first of the three steps is to stop with the stories. You don’t know what possibilities await you. They may be fantastic, and then you’ll wonder why you didn’t forge ahead sooner.
The second step is to decide to do it – whatever it is. Decide with conviction that you will have it, do it, or be it.
Finally, if what you want to do, be, or have is something you’ve never done before, develop a strategy to support your efforts. If it’s something you have done before but without the level of success you wanted, then you need a new strategy. A well-planned strategy helps by giving you a road map to follow. It keeps you on track and keeps you from just dabbling, which doesn’t usually lead to big successes. A strategy keeps you consistent, and consistency is key if you want to move out from where you are now and achieve your be, do, or have goal.
Want something you’ve never had? Stop with the stories, make a firm decision, and devise a strategy. Be prepared to revise your strategy when necessary. You may stumble, but that’s not failing. You only fail yourself when you constrict and don’t go after what you really want. If you want something you’ve never had, or you want something to change or get better, you have to change and get better.
But you don’t have to figure it all out alone. That’s what a life coach is for. Folks who are the best of the best have some type of coach. A good coach can see things from a perspective that is outside the scope of how you’re seeing them. They will help you create your strategy and build momentum. A good coach is your personal confidant, and is in your corner and devoted to supporting you until you get the results you desire. Who wouldn’t want that?